June 4, 2013

#shiticantstand

Fat people on airplanes
People touching me
Calling getting drunk “getting weird”
Hiccups
Sneezing
Sneezing while driving
Carbonated beverages
Warm whiskey
BBQ sauce
Fat people in small hallways
Fat people drinking soda
Fat people touching me on an airplane with their fatness.

Like this bitch is practically sitting on me.

I want to poison her diet coke.


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June 2, 2013

#notetoself

I need to write a rap song about the single, attractive, straight male population in Boston.

One of the lines needs to be “you’re single, you’re hot, you’ve got a wicked accent, but you’re only 5’2 and I’m never gonna date you”

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See Post tags #notetoself #singlegirlproblems #wickedsingle

May 28, 2013

I am seriously the most legit present wrapper ever. #comeatmebro

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See Post tags #wrapping #present #crafty

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